Month: May 2013

I’m Not Dead Yet!

No, really. Right here. Didn’t fall off the face of the Earth. Truth is, I forgot I was supposed to be blogging. I’ve been super busy crocheting and keeping up with these crazy children of mine, and sometimes things get neglected.

Like myself. Sometimes I forget to eat, drink, and even BREATHE when things go a little haywire. (The non-eating thing would be acceptable, by the way, if it was coupled with weight loss. But alas, alack…you get it, right?) Point is. I’m NOT dead yet. So I need these things. Food, water, a little O2? That’s sustainability at its basic, right? WRONG-O, my friends! How about a little down time? Sure crocheting is relaxing, blah blah, meditative, blah blah. Clearly these people have never had crunching deadlines and two booties that *somehow* didn’t quite match. Don’t get me wrong, I love to crochet. I am thankful for the business. However…

I need a Wonkaland full of pure imagination and chocolate that won’t make me feel guilty about raising America’s obesity statistics. I need some parallel universe where Terrible Two’s and Thunderous Three’s are actually Terrific Two’s and Tranquil Three’s.

Or how about a Pacific Island? A cabana boy to turn down gently as I pat his fat, oily, naturally-tanned-but-yet-melanoma-free bicep… AHEM. I’d say, “I’m so sorry, Emmilio,” (Because Emmilio is not actually a native. He was castaway from his South American country like those Saudi guys who were just too dang good-looking to be citizens.). Anyway, I was saying, “Sorry, Emmilio, but I am married. No…No…don’t be so sad. Someday a woman with just as many stretch marks and with much wider child-bearing hips will come your way, and you WILL love again.”

I’m getting off track. CHECK OUT MY NEW STUFF ON ETSY AND MY FACEBOOK FANPAGE. You can find me at WhoWhoBoutique.